never fear

We always hear on today's news how horrible we are. How bad off. High gas prices. Rape, murder, death. Terrorists want our ass...BAD. 9/11 was the biggest thing since Pearl Harbor the media tells us. For that we sent 750,000+ troops halfway around the world as well ass $1,000,000,000,000 TRILLION in equipment and weapons half way round the world and have tried to help the FUCKING WORLD! Yes we want them to be like us, politically. we want them to be like us socially, we have an arrogance problem and a bit of a GOD complex as a country. Our poor live better than most of the world, and have more benefits at their disposal. All this aside i would love to see the U.S. ( who is in financial crisis) pull back a bit. We don't need the oil. Canada supplies most of ours now. We also have massive amounts in our country, we just want to use other sources first. We don't need the land, we have ours. we only have the imported goods, which make our lives easier, fine, do that. As far as our military machine...we need to be more selective in who we defend. our allies (Canada, UK, Austrailia and Israel to name a few) need to be defended and have the right to call on our aid at any time for any reason. They were there for us, disagreement or not...we should be there for them. However we need to preserve our country and way of life. I get that we live a life of extravagance but we are paying for it. our military needs to come home and take care of their families. let the terrorist attack us, they will never break us or our will. people will die. what makes a civilian life worse than a professional soldier? well, the soldier chose their fate, a civilian was taken off guard. OK, I can see this argument. However, I disagree. I am always on the lookout for potential violence when I'm in the city. we should all be. fuck the world take care of ours, compassion is overrated. kill them all and let got sort them out!

You have to be kidding

Well, it seems that finding and air conditioner mounting bracket that does not screw into the wall or trim is sorta like Elvis. There are reports of sighting but no actual proof. Well, on the bright side, there is an open market for me to make and patent some.


12/9/09 at 8:56am Logan Elijah Kekoa Carr comes into this world. Some of you didn't know but Amber was going to have my baby. I am proud of the way she handled the birth, it went well. I am proud to be the father of a bouncing (7.0 Pound 18.5" long) baby boy. I am overall...overjoyed. My son is beautiful and I will post pictures in the future.

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Roommate is pissed at GF. GF is pissed at me. Roommate is pissed at me, by proxy. I am pissed at GF. Gf is pissed at roommate. I am not sure what the fuck to do now. I have an idea... most of them are illegal in most if not all states and countries. I think....

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Not sure what to think. Must just be in a bad mood. My life is coming to an end, and I am the Harvester of this particular doom. Sometimes, it pays to think ahead, way way ahead. I didn't give my life enough foresight evidently...

Sick and Tired

I have a pretty early schedule to begin with, as I normally get up for work around 3:30A.M. At 2:30 I wake up with stomach cramps and proceed to vomit. This is not the first time. In fact, in the last month and a half, roughly guessing (as I stopped counting at 43...seriously) I must be somewhere in the nature of 55+ times. That's pretty fucking serious. Really to me it's FUCKING DEADLY SERIOUS! Now, I have been to the doctors 12 times, seen a specialist, had an upper endoscopy, every test known to the doctors except CT scan, MRI and the Dye test to check for blockage. I have been to the E.R. I have missed 1.5 months, of work with the exception of 2 days. (thankfully I work for a ROCKING company and they are incredibly supportive and just want me to get better) I have been on 9 different medications, including one that just barely came on to the market, so new in fact most of the doctors didn't even know what it was. The specialist prescribed it to me. All this and they still ARE NOT SURE WHAT EXACTLY WHAT IS WRONG! Yet through all of this I am told that they think it is gastritis or GURD. They are prescribing meds based on that fact. Truth is none of them are working. Each one is worse than the last. I really am at my wits end with this. I am about ready to tell them to check me in to the hospital and do whatever test needs to be done to figure this out. Unfortunately, I am not seen as a priority. What is happening to me is not considered serious enough to be hospitalized so I am just prescribed a new med and sent on my way. Does anyone out there have any ideas where to go from here. Short of going JOHN Q on the hospital I am at a loss.
  • Current Mood
    sick sick

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I am confused. Not really sure what is bringing on this mood. I feel terrible. Not sad or bad, just not good. If my life does not change drastically I will die. Blood pressure (just found out from the doctor) cholesterol, emotion, mentality, all of it. I have to start exercise, and diet. Not that this is bad, I really do drink too much. My biggest problem is that I am no longer as young as I once was. That in itself is not bad, the getting in shape will be good for me. Its just that I am kind of an all or nothing guy, there is no half way. I need a life change. We all know what that means, I just need more. My whole life needs to change. I need to reinvent myself. Am I to old for reinvention? No. Never. I am angry. I have wasted so much time. I feel like my soul is bleeding. I want to run... but where? I will pick my self up by the bootstraps, like always, and move on. Only this time, that not good enough... I will do more. Much more.

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Not sure if it's stress or not. Not sleeping well, very moody, hating life and pissed off at most of it most of the time...but for no reason. Let me clarify that, nothing sets me off and makes me mad, I just am. For those who know, I have a new living situation in my household, my girls best friend and her 2 boys. I don't think the interruption in my routine is helping my moods. Just really starting to develop a real "fuck it" attitude. My girl will complain and my response is just "Shut up and deal with it I have to". That normally is not me,I am pretty caring and understanding but seriously, if I'm not bitching and complaining no one else should, after all it is my house. I hate only having rants on my posts but I am seriously going bat shit. No time for just me, no quiet, totally fucked up routine....enough that I would rather be at work, working long hours on the holidays than be home. shit.