chaosreality (chaosreality) wrote,
chaosreality
chaosreality

I am confused. Not really sure what is bringing on this mood. I feel terrible. Not sad or bad, just not good. If my life does not change drastically I will die. Blood pressure (just found out from the doctor) cholesterol, emotion, mentality, all of it. I have to start exercise, and diet. Not that this is bad, I really do drink too much. My biggest problem is that I am no longer as young as I once was. That in itself is not bad, the getting in shape will be good for me. Its just that I am kind of an all or nothing guy, there is no half way. I need a life change. We all know what that means, I just need more. My whole life needs to change. I need to reinvent myself. Am I to old for reinvention? No. Never. I am angry. I have wasted so much time. I feel like my soul is bleeding. I want to run... but where? I will pick my self up by the bootstraps, like always, and move on. Only this time, that not good enough... I will do more. Much more.
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